For current information or in the event of inclement weather and a meeting may be cancelled, check our website: www.tcfmadisonareachapter.com Send emails to: tcfmadisonwi@gmail.com

 

 

Hello everyone! My name is Tanya, and I am the co- chapter leader (along with Jim, thanks Jim for the recruit!). I am grateful to be with an amazing group of people connected by loss but also by love for our child, grandchild, sibling. A little about me: I have been married to Mike for almost 25 years, and he is also part of The Compassionate Friends. We live in Deerfield. We lost our amazing Jaeden on February 8, 2018, at age 15. We have two other adult children. We began a long journey that continues and forever will, and we find comfort in connection with others who understand. As we go into summer, I recognize this can be a time of heartache for plans that are now changed. I hope you can find moments to be in sunshine, take in the beauty around you, and connect with others. Here is a poem that speaks to me, and hopefully will to you as well. I look forward to being your co-leader and you can reach out anytime you need. We need not walk alone. Tanya Sutton Our Mission The Compassionate Friends was founded 50 years ago when a chaplain at the Warwickshire Hospital in England brought together two sets of grieving parents and realized that the support, they gave each other was better than anything he, as a chaplain, could ever say or provide. Meeting around a kitchen table, the Lawleys and the Hendersons were joined by a bereaved mother and the chaplain, Simon Stephens, and The Society of the Compassionate Friends was born. The Compassionate Friends jumped across the ocean and was established in the United States and incorporated in 1978 in Illinois.

 

Calendar – Upcoming events:

June 16 – Father’s Day

June 20 – Chapter Meeting July 12-14 –

National Conference July 18 –

Chapter Meeting August 15 –

Chapter Meeting September 19 --

 

From Your Chapter Leader's Kitchen Table

     

     Greetings, My 2nd Memorial Day celebration has come and gone. As I take a moment to catch my breath, I can't tell how fortunate I am to have all of you with me on my journey through the grief of losing Caroline. This year was especially significant because we were able to collect names to put on plaques which will be placed on the Memorial Bridges across the lagoon in Vilas Park later this summer. Once the plaques and markers are on the bridges, I was thinking about having a dedication ceremony that would not be as involved as our usual celebrations and would appreciate any feedback you might have concerning this. I felt the ceremony was moving and we had a new twist on an old tradition. Pam Cheney's daughter, Tasha, was, unfortunately, taken too soon by a rare form of cancer. Pam makes imitation flowers out of balsa wood that are so realistic that you have to examine them closely to see the difference (see rose on the bottom of page 2). She offered to make the red roses for our celebration in place of the real roses we have given out in the past to the mothers of children whose names were put on plaques to be added to the bridges (formerly the benches). I would very much like feedback concerning the use of Pam's roses in the future from those who received them and previous recipients of the real roses. If people are in favor of the imitation roses, we could make that a new tradition and might consider giving a different color rose to other mothers of TCF so that over time a bouquet would develop in TCF homes like the displays of our Worldwide Candle Lighting ornaments. I'm also interested in other ideas from our members on topics for our meetings, other activities to help us on our journeys of grief, and to help make our organization a powerful resource for all parents who have lost a child. In the coming year I would like to look at how we do outreach to the community about our group. I'm also interested in finding members who have IT skills to help leverage technology to make our group more visible as well as developing online forms for requesting a child's name be on a plaque, and other issues I'm probably unaware of. Again, it is an honor to be your chapter leader and I look forward to our journey together. We are The Compassionate Friends. Your Servant Leader, Jim Nosal, father of Caroline (5/1/91 - 2/2/16)

 

 

 

 Before I Was Myself, You Made Me, Me

 

     Before I was myself you made me, me With love and patience, discipline and tears, Then bit by bit stepped back to set me free, Allowing me to sail upon my sea, Though well within the headlands of your fears. Before I was myself you made me, me With dreams enough of what I was to be And hopes that would be sculpted by the years, Then bit by bit stepped back to set me free, Relinquishing your powers gradually To let me shape myself among my peers. Before I was myself you made me, me, And being good and wise, you gracefully As dancers when the last sweet cadence nears Bit by bit stepped back to set me free. For love inspires learning naturally: The mind assents to what the heart reveres. And so it was through love you made me, me By slowly stepping back to set me free. — Dimitri Shostakovich

 

 

 

     God took the strength of a mountain, The majesty of a tree, The warmth of a summer sun, The calm of a quiet sea, The generous soul of nature, The comforting arm of night, The wisdom of the ages, The power of the eagle’s flight, The joy of a morning in spring, The faith of a mustard seed, The patience of eternity, The depth of a family need, Then God combined these qualities, When there was nothing more to add, He knew His masterpiece was complete, And so, He called it … Dad — Author Unknown

 

We Need Not Walk Alone Magazine

 

     The Compassionate Friends National website contains a magazine that is jam packed with information and articles. You can view the magazine online or you can print any and all pages. Here is the link that you can type into your browser: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/spring-2024/ Below are some of the contents of the magazine:

 

FEATURES

• Moving Through Grief by Shari O’Loughlin

• Grief is Personal by Ian T. Rowan • Preserving Your Memories by Tim Meadows

• How Ought a Man to Grieve the Loss of His Child? by Kelly Mc Coy

• A Tattoo for my Adelaideybug by Kelly Cervantes

• Losing My Roadmaps by Katy Leach • The Winds Blow…But the Sun Still Shines by Janine Salevsky

• Grief as an Invisible Cloak by Bob Baugher

• A Complicated Journey by Marlene Enderlein

• The Grief Train by Virginia Gorg

• Stowaways by Sylvia Bosma

• The Sounds of Spring by Donna Dondo

• What is Time? by Linda Henderson

• The Arrival of Spring by Joan Baker Scott DEPARTMENTS

• TCF Sibling Zoom Meetings

• TCF Online Support Community

• TCF Private Facebook Groups

 

The Compassionate Friends Madison Area Chapter would like to express our gratitude to John Goodman and staff at Ad Press for providing the printing of the newsletter. Your generosity and excellence in quality and service is greatly appreciated 

 

 LOVE GIFTS

 

     A Love Gift is a gift of money (or books) to The Compassionate Friends. It is usually in memory of a child, grandchild or sibling who has died, but it may be from individuals who wish to honor a relative or friend who has died, a gift that their children are alive, or simply a gift from someone who wants to help. The Compassionate Friends charges no individual dues or fees and depends on such Love Gifts to meet the Chapter’s expenses, including the printing and mailing of this newsletter. Please send any Love Gifts to our treasurer, Donna Knickmeyer, W14118 Selwood Drive, Prairie du Sac, WI 53578 Checks should be made out to “The Compassionate Friends.” Name___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Address_________________________________________________________________________________________________ City, State, Zip__________________________________________________________________________________________ In Memory of:________________________________________________________________________ $________________

 

LOVE GIFTS – We wish to thank

 

Gina Accola, in memory of her daughter, Roxanne Harriet Accola

James & Tena Borchardt, in memory of their daughter, Ashley Kay Borchardt

Ken & Peggy Butler, in memory of their daughter, Amanda Sue Butler

John Carrier, in memory of his son, Rick Robert Carrier

Susan Elias, in memory of her son, Mark Elias Anello

Charles & Laurie Grubba, in memory of their daughter, Stephanie Lynn Grubba

Troy Herro, in memory of his son, Alex Linden

Fayth Kail, in memory of her son, Ronnie J. Kail

Fayth Kail, in memory of Bobbie Kail

Amy Manion, in memory of her son, John “Jack” Francis Manion

Gerry Ross, in memory of her daughter, Deanna Elizabeth Ross

Diane Sarbacker, in memory of her son, Justin A. Sarbacker

Mike & Tanya Sutton, in memory of their son, Jaeden Scott Sutton 

Michael W. Ash, in memory of his son, Adam Michael Ash

Sharon Fallon, in memory of her son, Daniel F. Lemke

Nancy Fredrickson, in memory of her daughter, Dyan Sheryl Murray

Nancy Fredrickson, in memory of Trudi Ann Fredrickson

Linda Fuller, in memory of her son, Steven Matthew Olah

Mitch Hagens, in memory of his son, Ross Waldon Hagens

Carolyn Kleiner, in memory of her son, Joshua James Roethel  

 James & Lynn Koeppel, in memory of their daughter, Bridget Anne Koeppel

Cassidy & Antoine Konan, in memory of their son, Jerome Eldon Millard

Amy Manion, in memory of her son, John “Jack” Francis Manion

Mary Marty, in memory of her son, Kathryn Mary Marty

Carol McMeen, in memory of her son, Eric Jandro

Tim & Trish O’Neil, in memory of their grandson, Shay Rahsaan Watson

Susan Porter, in memory of her son, Matthew Porter

Tia Scanlon & Vic Pulvermacher, in memory of their daughter, Remington Kristine Viney

Kevin Viney, in memory of his daughter, Remington Kristine Viney

Wayne & Christie Siewert, in memory of their nephew, Ries Palmer Lazzeroni

Wayne & Christie Siewert, in memory of their nephew, Colton Walker Lazzeroni

Dawn Steinbach & Terry Strait, in memory of their son, Brian Lynn Steinbach

 

 New Normal

 

I don’t think we talk enough about

How quiet the road gets.

How long The waiting feels.

How lonely healing Can be.

I don’t think we talk enough

About how undone we become in the

Valley of grief, or how enormously we

Must stretch just to fit ourselves into

Some kind of new normal and dare

To call it life again.

And I don’t think

We talk enough about how we have no

Other thing left but to gather up our

Heavy limbs and carry on.

Because the Earth keeps on spinning.

The sun keeps On rising.

And the days keep on bleeding,

And into the next, regardless of the

Moment that made all the minutes inside

Of our hearts stand still.                     Ullie-kaye